Currently seeking: that one individual who will purchase an economy sized bag of original Skittles and pick out all of the red, green, and purple ones for me.

There are a lot of regulars at the coffeehouse I frequent. There is one man, I believe his name is Dave. Dave comes into the coffeehouse every single day and plants himself in the right corner window, facing the street. He got a haircut yesterday... I like it short. Today he bought a flyswatter with him to the "office".

It's the little things that make me smile. If I had to vanish, these.... THESE would be the things that I would miss so much.

How can I be so happy and so sad at the same time?

yep.

It's so unbelievably disheartening to be so passionate about a project and have no one to share that with.

My next release is coming out in six short weeks and I have not had ONE friend ask if they could preview the disc. The "how's the label going" gets so old when you don't bother listening to my response to the question.

Please stop feigning interest.

while i generally have umpteen things to complain about, today i am finding comfort in the fact that if i can make it through one more week, i will be a *very* happy camper.  

95% anticipation and 5% living.  always.

fuck.

http://www.madison.com/wsj/mad/latest/447102

i hate how much this still hurts.

maybe i've been alone all along.  i put every acquaintance on a pedestal and none of them are sturdy enough to remain there.  

there are no words to articulate how i feel these days.  i'm off to the gym soon.  the gym is where everything is ok for a few hours.

johnny cupcakes is going to be in chicago on saturday but i am volunteering at the film fest.  

things are ok these days.  i'm working on becoming a complete meathead.  almost there.

to add to the list of "worst feelings in the world":

- paying $30 for a ticket that is only supposed to cost $16.

-----

tonight i am going to listen to the ltj discography and drink vampire wine.  tomorrow i am going to see one of my best friends because she is awesome and flying to chicago to see me.

i really do have a few spectacular friends who make up for all of the shitty acquaintances. 

every day gets a little bit easier.  every day gets a little more lonely.  it's funny how everything works itself out.

hilary flies into town on sunday for a two day road trip and singalongs.  i need good hugs and i need to feel like myself again.  watch out, world!  the east coast version of myself reappears for the second time in 2009 come sunday morning.

today was a relatively good day.  of course it's now, at 2:04am that i'm back to thinking/analyzing in a valiant effort to figure out exactly where i messed things up for whatever this non-relationship was.

my heart hurts. i want to remember this feeling forever.

oh my little blog, how i have ignored you!

there is so much to catch up on but no time to do it.  whistle pig comes out on monday and i am very excited for it.